How to GRAY ROCK a Narcissist
Staying Calm in Toxic Interactions
Sometimes, the best response is no response at all. The GRAY ROCK method helps survivors minimize conflict and emotional manipulation. Use this acronym to stay grounded and skillful:
G - Goal: The goal is to engage minimally. Less said = less that can be used against you.
R - Reactions: Emotional reactions almost always backfire. Instead, remain neutral.
A - Affect: Maintain a calm facial expression, body language and neutral tone.
Y - You control You: You cannot control the other person’s response, no matter how skillful or tactful you are. You control you. Know your goal and stick with it.
Record-Ready Behavior: Imagine being videotaped—what would you want to show?
Only Share What’s Necessary: One-word responses or phrases like “Understood” suffice.
Create an Exit: Have a plan to leave gracefully if needed.
Kindness Toward Yourself: Celebrate your restraint—staying calm takes skill!
By practicing GRAY ROCK, you protect your nervous system, maintain dignity, and stay in control even in high-stress interactions.
Find more coping skills with The Neuroscience of Narcissistic Abuse Coping Kit — ECSNAR